Listen up: great podcasts about the single life
If you love a good podcast, and you want some tips on the single life, then there’s several podcasts that are waiting to be loaded onto your phone.
The "Three Single Women" podcast combines the talents of a trio of podcasters: Pip Brown, who hosts “One Single Woman,” which looks at the social conditioning of the single status; Rachel Beck, host of “The Feisty Heroine,” which offers empowering discussions; and Lucy Meggeson, host of “Spinsterhood Reimagined,” which “celebrates all things single, childfree, and personal growth.”
“Solo: The Single Person’s Guide to a Remarkable Life" by Peter McGraw offers advice on a plethora of topics from the behavioral scientist and author.
“Seriously Single” by Briane Hogan examines everything from dating to traveling.
"Well Enough Alone" by Australian Jill Stark looks at the solo life from the psychological perspective, as well as practical tips on topics such as budgeting.
If you’re divorced, "This American Ex-Wife" by Lyz Lenz examines life after marriage from a political and sociological perspective.
#SoloStories: “How To Die Alone”
SoloStories is our feature in which we explore books, films and TV shows that show single women navigating their lives – but romance is not the main component.
In the Hulu series “How To Die Alone,” Melissa Jackson died for three minutes while assembling furniture.
It helps her come alive.
Mel (played by Natasha Rothwell, who created the series and wrote some of the episodes) is a 40-something New Yorker who drives the cart at JFK Airport. She watches passengers come and go from their trips, but she has never flown before.
She has few friends, and her job is taking her nowhere. As a fellow patient tells her, there are three kinds of death – “physical, when people stop caring about you, and the worst kind is when you stop caring for yourself.”
When her ex-boyfriend invites her to his destination wedding in Hawaii, she sees it as opportunity to fly – both literally and metaphorically.
She admits she was “comfortable being small” and she didn’t take risks. So she applies for a management program and takes a flight simulation. “You’re shaking things up like a handful of sunflower seeds,” a pal tells her.
Mel has a lot in common with Sam from “Somebody Somewhere,” and you want to root for her. But Mel also makes some choices that can be frustrating and painful to watch. The episodes become easier as Mel begins to see the rewards of her hard work.
The ending is sweet – until it ends with a shocking twist that demands a second season.
Rothwell, who also appeared in “The White Lotus” and “Insecure,” was inspired to write the series after her own near-death experience. This is a show that reveals hard truths about life, but it also shows that taking risks can bring some great pleasures.
THE KIT YOU NEED WHEN YOU’RE SICK
Being sick is no fun and it’s especially annoying when you’re on your own and there’s no one to baby you. Here’s a list of supplies to keep handy in case you come down with a cold or flu.
Keep some medicine in your cabinet, such as Vicks DayQuil and NyQuil Cold and Flu Medicine and Afrin No Drip Severe Congestion Maximum Strength Nasal Spray. Store other supplies, such as Kleenex Trusted Care Facial Tissues and Campbell's Condensed Chicken Noodle Soup. Also, the Welly First Aid Kit, which includes bandages, ointments and ibuprofen, is useful to have in case of minor accidents.
And, if you find yourself sick at home alone without any medicine, you can always use a home delivery service, such as Instacart, to bring the supplies to you. It’s better than having to drudge to the drugstore.
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The books you need to find, then love, a job
If one of your New Year’s resolutions is to find a new job or advance in your career, we got a few book recommendations that can help you out. Our New Life Starter Kit features checklists to help with your job search.
Ladies Get Paid Ladies Get Paid: The Ultimate Guide to Breaking Barriers, Owning Your Worth, and Taking Command of Your Career by Claire Wasserman
Wasserman, the founder of the Ladies Get Paid newsletter, features advice on getting jobs and promotions, negotiating your salary, and getting over perfectionism and imposter syndrome. The book also includes scripts for networking and touchy subjects, such as asking a friend about their salary.
Power Moves: How Women Can Pivot, Reboot, and Build a Career of Purpose, by Lauren McGoodwin
The book covers topics that help you reexamine your outlook on your career, such as not chasing a “dream job,” and prioritizing self-care by silencing your inner critic. McGoodwin is founder and CEO of the Career Contessa website, which is an invaluable resource for job hunting.
Embrace the Work, Love Your Career: A Guided Workbook for Realizing Your Career Goals with Clarity, Intention, and Confidence by Fran Hauser
This is a workbook, from the startup investor and author of “The Myth of the Nice Girl,” that encourages you to create a career action plan, assemble a dream team of supporters and teaches you how to say “no” to others.
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YOUR ROADMAP FOR JANUARY 2025
Where’s the lie?
It’s January. After all the holiday rush, it’s a nice time to settle in and do as little as possible. But it also can move with the pace of a sloth. So start thinking about spring and all the traveling you can do. Use our Travel Kit to get you started.
If you’re thinking of resolutions, grab our New Life Starter Kit to help find a new job or apartment. If taking care of your health is your goal, our Health Kit can help you keep track of your medical history and appointments.
Wednesday, Jan. 1 – New Year’s Day
Wednesday, Jan. 15 – Quarterly taxes are due for those who are self-employed or have side hustles.
Monday, Jan. 20 – Martin Luther King, Jr. Day/Presidential Inauguration
Wednesday, Jan. 29 – Lunar New Year
Friday, Jan. 31 – Employers must turn in W2 forms by this date, so you can start filing your income taxes.
Start thinking about …
Thursday, Feb. 13 – Galentine’s Day
Wednesday, Feb. 14 - Valentine’s Day
Thursday, Feb. 15 – Singles Awareness Day
Monday, Feb. 17 – President’s Day
Friday, Feb. 28 – Ramadan begins
Tuesday, March 4 - Mardi Gras
Wednesday, March 5 – Lent begins
Friday, March 14 – Holi
Sunday, March 30 – Eid al-Fitr
Tuesday, April 15 – Income Tax Day
Sunday, April 20 – Easter
#SoloStories: “Broad City”
SoloStories is our feature in which we explore books, films and TV shows that show single women navigating their lives – but romance is not the main component.
“Broad City” is a show that’s painfully funny.
The comedy, which ran from 2014 to 2019, is one of our favorite TV shows about living life on your own.
“Broad City” follows two best friends in their early 20s residing in New York City. Abbi Abrams (played by Abbi Jacobsen) is an aspiring artist who tries to play by the rules, although that doesn’t always work. Ilana Wexler (played by Ilana Glazer) is … well, let’s just call her quirky. She frequently switches up jobs and romances, but she’s never daunted by what people think of her. (She’s also the character who gave us the line, “In da clerb, we’re all fam.”)
There’s not a situation that they don’t go through – bad dates, annoying “roommates,” perplexing work dilemmas. Ilana makes the best of any situation, and in “Hurricane Wanda,” the show’s best episode, she helps rescue Abbi from an explosive diarrhea attack while her crush is in the next room. (“I’m a doo doo ninja,” Ilana tells Abbi.) They often have to be resourceful, such as finding money when they need it or carrying large objects (like furniture) through the streets of New York. So often, life shoves itself in its face. Even going to the subway is an adventure.
But they have each other. This show is a great example of single women who can handle life on their own, but they also know when to turn to a friend.
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GET READY FOR DECEMBER
It’s the most stressful time of the year! This month is packed with holidays. If you need help with a gift, check out our suggestions that apply for any time of year. (If you know someone who is graduating this month, we recommend out New Life Starter Kit.) If you’re going away for the holidays, grab our Travel Kit. And be sure to winterize your home, car and bookshelf for the cold days ahead. Just remember the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve is also one of laziest weeks of the year, so you have that to look forward to. (If you have to work that week, we hope it runs as smoothly as possible.)
Tuesday, Dec. 3 – Giving Tuesday. Support your favorite charity.
Wednesday, Dec. 25 – Christmas
Wednesday, Dec. 25-Thursday, Jan. 2 - Hanukkah
Thursday, Dec. 26-Wednesday, Jan. 1 – Kwanzaa
Thursday, Dec. 26 – Stock up on holiday sales. (Bath and Body Works always has great deals this time of year.)
Tuesday, Dec. 31 – New Year’s Eve
Start thinking about …
Wednesday, Jan. 1 – New Year’s Day. Our favorite holiday. No obligations whatsoever. Just sit around the house and be lazy.
Wednesday, Jan. 15 – Quarterly taxes are due for those who are self-employed or have side hustles.
Monday, Jan. 20 – Martin Luther King, Jr. Day/Presidential Inauguration
Wednesday, Jan. 29 – Lunar New Year
Friday, Jan. 31 – Employers must turn in W2 forms by this date, so you can start filing your yearly income taxes.
Thursday, Feb. 13; Wednesday, Feb. 14 and Thursday; Feb. 15 – Celebrate your favorite people and yourself with Galentine’s Day, Valentine’s Day and Singles Awareness Day.
Monday, Feb. 17 – President’s Day
Friday, Feb. 28 – Ramadan begins
Tuesday, March 4 - Mardi Gras
Wednesday, March 5 – Lent begins
create the holiday you want
Illustration by Natalia Lavrinenko.
This week is Thanksgiving week and TV and film – and society – make it feel that you have to spend the holidays with family, and it is going to be fun and festive.
But if you can’t be with family for financial or personal reasons, it’s OK. You now have the power to create the holiday you want.
You don’t have to go anywhere or do any chores. You can sleep in. Eat pizza for breakfast. Read in bed. Binge-watch a favorite TV show. Make a craft. Solve a puzzle. Play music. Relish the freedom to choose what you want to do.
You can go out for a walk. Host a Friendsgiving. Volunteer to serve dinner at a homeless shelter. Go to the movies with a pal. Seize the opportunity to do your favorite things.
If you do have a traditional Thanksgiving, we hope it runs as smoothly as possible. If you work in retail, health care or other industry in which you are busy during the holiday, we send you all the good vibes.
Enjoy.
Our new health kit is here
Our new bundle is out! And the focus is on your health. Preparing for a medical appointment can be nerve-wracking. It’s not just getting examined and tested, it’s all those forms and the bills. Our Health Kit can prepare you. The kit includes worksheets for you to keep in a binder and take it with you for each appointment, so you and your health care provider have access to your medical history.
This kit includes:
Yearly Medical Appointments List
Medical Appointment List
Prescriptions List
Doctors List
Personal Medical History — Vitals
Personal Medical History — Allergies/Adverse Reactions
Personal Medical History — Conditions
Personal Medical History — Surgeries
Family Medical History
Surgery/Medical Procedure Lists
Medical Sick Kit
Resources
Grab it here.
Prepare yourself for the winter days ahead
Illustration by Natalia Lavrinenko.
Winter is coming. It’s already arrived in a few places.
Since it’s a high-maintenance season, you’ll need to winterize several different aspects of your life. We’ve got you covered.
Winterize your car. AAA provides some great tips, as does the Mechanic Shop Femme from Chaya M. Milchtein.
Winterize your home. This Vox article guides you through the process.
Winterize your body. Schedule your flu and COVID vaccines. And being sick is no fun when you’re living on your own, so keep some supplies handy, such as Bayer Aspirin, Advil Pain Reliever, Vicks DayQuil and NyQuil Cold and Flu Medicine and Afrin No Drip Severe Congestion Maximum Strength Nasal Spray. And make sure you have Kleenex Trusted Care Facial Tissues and Campbell's Condensed Chicken Noodle Soup.
Winterize your wardrobe. If you don’t already, have a good coat, gloves and boots on hand.
Winterize your bookshelf. In case there’s a snow day, stock up on some great titles. We loved “Party of One: Be Your Own Best Life Partner” by Meghan Keane; "The Paris Novel" by Ruth Reichel; “I’m Mostly Here to Enjoy Myself: One Woman’s Pursuit of Pleasure of Paris" by Glynnis MacNicol; and “The Benevolent Society of Ill-Mannered Ladies” by Alison Goodman. Need a fun binge-watch? “Somebody Somewhere” is excellent.
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It’s time for a “Me Party.” It’s Singles Day!
Today is Nov. 11, Singles’ Day in China, and it’s exploded into one of the biggest shopping weeks of the year in the world.
The day was established in 1983 by college students to celebrate their singlehood. Now the Chinese give singles presents and young people get together for parties. A similar holiday, Singles Awareness Day, was established in the U.S. and takes place Feb. 15.
But neither of these holidays have gained much attention in the U.S., even though the proliferation of the internet has created a plethora of seemingly random celebratory days, such as Siblings Day and National Dog Day.
And singles deserve their own party — like Amy Adams and Miss Piggy in “The Muppets.”
Single people, especially those who have just graduated from college, need items to help establish their home. We’d love it for it to be acceptable if we can create a singles registry, such as brides do for their wedding.
Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City did such that in the episode “A Woman’s Right to Shoes.” As she points out, we contribute to bridal and baby showers, weddings, Mother’s and Father’s Day, and other assorted holidays.
And it’s expensive to be single. This 2023 Forbes article notes singletons can’t share the costs of household expenses and food, and it cites a Wells Fargo report that says, “Single women often remain in a more financially fragile position than other segments of the population.”
So, it would be nice for others to give us some gift cards or some fancy bath and body products.
But … this could end up like a Hallmark holiday, where people are socially obligated to buy stuff without any heart behind it.
So we can make it into what we want. Ask a friend if they need help with a chore. Meet up with your single friends and just talk. Or host your own me party.
We do so much by ourselves and for others. We deserve a day just for us.
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Book review: “Party of One: Be Your Own Best Life Partner”
So, are you dating anyone?
Being single is rife with rude questions.
What is wrong with me?
Welp, some of those obnoxious questions come from ourselves.
Writer Meghan Keane, who is the founder and supervising editor of NPR’s Life Kit, tackles the joys and challenges of being single in “Party of One: Be Your Own Best Life Partner.” Society can make being single feel like you’re an oddball, and some of that gets in our head. Keane guides the way through these complicated emotions.
Each chapter explores a different aspect of singledom – from the myth of romantic love to managing emotions – with Keane talking to experts and offering an activity and practice to help you untangle your thoughts and feelings.
The book is comforting, giving wise advice: “You can love your freedom but also want companionship. … No one is grading you on perfect consistency.”
And this: “Sometimes hanging out with people is a drag! You have to make compromises about how much money to spend or what kind of food to eat or how long you’re going to be out. But when you carve our delicious moments just for you … you get to the sole architect of your experience.”
It’s also full of beautiful illustrations from LA Johnson. It’s one of those books that you’ll keep because it’s so nice to look at and the advice is something you’ll want to turn to over and over again.
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Let’s get ready for November
It’s November. This month is going to get busy, then things are really going to speed up. This time of year tends to gobble up energy and finances, so be sure to save some space and money for yourself — especially if you work in the retail or health care sectors. If you’re going away for the holidays, be sure to grab our Travel Kit.
Friday, Nov. 1 – Diwali
Friday, Nov. 1 - Halloween candy goes on sale. Come on, you know you want it.
Friday, Nov. 1-Saturday, Nov. 2 – Dias de los Muertos
Tuesday, Nov. 5 – Elections. Learn more about candidates and issues at vote411.org.
Monday, Nov. 11 – Veterans Day
Monday, Nov. 11 – Singles Awareness Day. People need to start giving us presents.
Thursday, Nov. 28 – Thanksgiving
Friday, Nov. 29 – Holiday sales blast off with Black Friday, Small Business Saturday and Cyber Monday. If there’s any big items you’ve been thinking about buying, make a list and start saving money.
Start thinking about:
Tuesday, Dec. 3 – Giving Tuesday. Support your favorite charity.
Wednesday, Dec. 4 – Bankrupt Wednesday. Just kidding. This isn’t a thing. But it feels like it after all the money you’ve spent.
Wednesday, Dec. 25 – Christmas
Wednesday, Dec. 25-Thursday, Jan. 2 - Hanukkah
Thursday, Dec. 26-Wednesday, Jan. 1 – Kwanzaa
Tuesday, Dec. 31 – New Year’s Eve
Wednesday, Jan. 1 – Our favorite holiday. No obligations whatsoever. Just sit around the house and be lazy.
Monday, Jan. 20 – Martin Luther King, Jr. Day
Monday, Jan. 20 – Presidential Inauguration
SoloStories: “Spy”
SoloStories is our feature in which we explore books, films and TV shows that show single women navigating their lives – but romance is not the main component.
In the 2015 movie Spy, 40-year-old Susan Cooper (Melissa McCarthy) unexpectedly becomes a field agent in this spoof of James Bond movies. She wears a variety of demeaning disguises that stereotype single, loveless women – such as a woman who has 10 cats. For one outfit, she declares, “I look like someone's homophobic aunt!”
But Susan is wicked smart, able to detect enemies in pursuit of a nuclear bomb. “I do not condone these sexy but reckless actions!” her coworker Nancy declares.
With her wits, Susan shows she has great power – going from an invisible middle-aged woman to one who saves the world.
It’s a fun movie to watch when you need to feel empowered and feel good about yourself. This movie has loads of laughs and a great cast, including a cameo from 50 Cent. We wish this had been a franchise.
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It’s time for the tire pressure sign to come on your car dashboard
It’s that time of the year. You start your engine in the morning and one of your dashboard lights pops up. It’s the exclamation point – or, technically, it’s the tire pressure sign – and it often lights up with the change in weather. It’s one of those annoying items you must keep up in life, along with dental appointments and paying your bills.
Get to know your car better:
AAA offers this handy guide about checking tire pressure, along with other information about your car. We also recommend joining a roadside assistance program, and AAA is one of the best.
The Mechanic Shop Femme website and the book, “Mechanic Shop Femme’s Guide to Car Ownership: Uncomplicating Cars for All of Us,” run by Chaya M. Milchtein, has valuable tips, from buying to maintaining your vehicle.
Keep up with your auto with our car care list in our New Life Starter Kit: https://www.solo-list.com/shop.
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SoloStories: “The Benevolent Society of Ill-Mannered Ladies”
SoloStories is our feature in which we explore books, films and TV shows that show single women navigating their lives – but romance is not the main component.
“The Benevolent Society of Ill-Mannered Ladies” by Alison Goodman, is a Regency novel with a unique perspective. Instead of focusing on romance in the ton, it’s about the realities of the time. Two 42-year-old single women in 1800s England rescue women in dire situations, relying on their wits and determination. Lady Augusta Coleman, also known as “Gus,” is outspoken, but her heart still yearns for a love she lost 20 years ago. Julia, recently widowed, is quieter and hiding a secret.
The book manages a light touch despite their harrowing adventures that take them into the worst parts of humanity. It can get tense, so you may need some biscuits to soothe you and a handkerchief to wipe your brows. This is a rare Regency that is inclusive, with main characters who are older in age and BIPOC and LBGTQIA characters in supporting roles.
The novel excels with some great dialogue, when Gus brings up a frequently used term while plotting their venture:
“I doubt anyone would ever believe two old maids could even take on such a venture.”
“Old maids. I really do hate that expression,” Julia said.
“Then let us be something else.”
“Useful,” Julia said. “I would like to have some purpose …”
“Then it is settled. We shall be useful. But just as importantly we shall be defiant, occasionally ill-mannered, and completely indomitable.”
The novel proves that despite the society’s degradation of the women’s status, they provide invaluable skills. Fans of Evie Dunsmore and Elizabeth Everett will enjoy this novel. Gus and Julia and great characters, and we can’t wait to read more about them in their second book, “The Ladies Road Guide to Utter Ruin,” which comes out in 2025.
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how to buy presents for others without stressing out
One day you are minding your own business and then the calendar reminds you that your mom’s birthday is coming up or an email pops up in your inbox with a baby shower invitation, and you’re like, “Whut!?” Who has time to pick up a present? And what are you going to get them?
Don’t worry, there’s an easy way to prepare for such occasions:
Buy a bundle of cards: Instead of spending time looking for cards, grab one of these Hallmark All Occasion Boxed Set of Assorted Blank Greeting Cards. It provides cards for every occasion (pictured here), including birthdays, graduations, housewarmings and showers.
Here are some ideas for gifts:
Everybody has to shower (or at least we hope so), so bath and body products are always nice. And everybody must eat, so restaurant gift cards make a good choice.
Other thoughtful gifts: plants; books; theater, concert or sports tickets; memberships to a local museum; and gift cards to a movie theater or streaming service.
If your recipients are hard to buy for, your recipient can buy almost anything with an Amazon gift card.
For someone who has everything, a gift to a nonprofit organization, such as Doctors Without Borders, Heifer International or World Central Kitchen is a thoughtful gesture.
For baby and wedding showers and housewarming parties, check their registry.
Grab a bundle of bags. And buy some craft paper bags (like these from Bag Dream) to keep handy, so you don’t have to run around searching for gift wrap.
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SOLOSONGS: THE BEAUTY OF “WIDE OPEN SPACES”
SoloSongs is our feature in which we highlight songs that show the joys and struggles of being independent.
There are only a few songs that perfectly describe the need to be on your own. “Wide Open Spaces” is one of them.
The song, written by Susan Gibson and recorded by The Chicks (then called Dixie Chicks), depicts a young woman leaving home for the first time, backed by beautiful country instrumentation and perfect harmonies.
It captures that naïve hope young people feel when they’re undaunted by the fact that life will be hard. In fact, they are excited about it.
The chorus hits it perfectly: “She needs, wide open spaces/Room to make her big mistakes.”
Other details in the song give it its authenticity: “As her folks drive away her dad yells, ‘Check the oil.’”
The song, which appears on the album of the same name, became a huge hit for The Chicks, reaching number one on Billboard’s country charts and launching the band’s legacy as one of the most successful female music groups of all time.
Now it’s the theme song for every teenager who’s waiting to graduate from high school, ready to get out of the house and create their own life.
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Get ready for the elections
The elections are about a month away. The nation will elect a new President, plus other officials from the federal to local level. Here are some ways to prepare:
Make sure you are registered to vote. Deadlines are quickly approaching in some states. Learn more here: vote.gov or vote.org. Make a voting plan with help from the League of Women Voters’ Vote 411 website.
Research the candidates. Find out about candidates’ positions at the Vote411 website and the Vote Smart website.
Get active. If you want to get involved in the political process, the book “Democracy in Retrograde: How to Make Changes Big and Small in Our Country and in Our Lives” by Sami Sage and Emily Amick, is a great place to start. Using astrology as an analogy, the book provides tips on participating in challenging conversations, profiles political activists, offers a civic personality quiz, delivers a primer on basic functions of the government and lets you create your own civic action plan.
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It’s October. Here’s what to think about this month and for fall.
October is one of the most popular months of the year because the weather isn’t insane. Holidays like Halloween give it some fun. Other major events, including the Jewish High Holy Days and Diwali, take place this month. If you’re going away for any upcoming holidays, use our Travel Kit.
Here are a few dates to keep in mind:
Wednesday-Friday, Oct. 2-4 and Thursday-Friday, Oct. 11-12 - Jewish High Holy Days
Monday, Oct. 14 – Columbus Day
Monday, Oct. 14 – Indigenous Peoples' Day
Thursday, Oct. 31 - Halloween
Thursday, Oct. 31-Friday, Nov. 1 - Diwali
Start thinking about …
Friday, Nov. 1 – Halloween candy goes on sale. We can’t resist a good bargain.
Friday, Nov. 1-Saturday, Nov. 2 – Dias de los Muertos
Tuesday, Nov. 5 – Elections. Register to vote at vote.gov.
Monday, Nov. 11 – Veterans Day
Thursday, Nov. 28 – Thanksgiving
Wednesday, Dec. 25 – Christmas
Wednesday, Dec. 25-Thursday, Jan. 2 - Hanukkah