book review: “Single: Living a Complete Life on Your Own Terms” by Nicola Slawson

“Single: Living a Complete Life on Your Own Terms” by Nicola Slawson is a book that understands you.

The book, written by a British journalist, explores the many aspects of singlehood that celebrates the status, instead of bemoaning it. It also shows the frustrating parts of being single, but it doesn’t put the blame on single people.

Slawson interviewed dozens of single people to get their viewpoints and stories. Slawson touches on issues such as economics (what do you do if you don’t have a savings account to get you through tough times?) and housing (how can one person afford their own space?).

There are emotional aspects too, such as those feelings when you feel left behind while others are reaching adult milestones, like weddings, new homes and kids, and internalizing emotions because there isn’t “someone in your house every night asking how your day was.”

And there is the burden of having to do things all by yourself.

“It can also be hard because I’m always the one who has to make sure there are teabags and loo roll in the house,” Slawson wrote. “I always have to remember my key. Even if I have had a really long hard day, I still have to do all the cooking and tidying myself. There is no one else to pick up the slack if I’m ill. People often talk about the ‘mental load’ that women have to carry, even if their husbands/partners share the housework. There are countless articles and memes about it and they all assume that everyone reading has a partner who isn’t sharing a burden of making sure there is food in the house and that the bills are paid. These articles don’t take into account the millions of people of both genders who live alone and so therefore automatically have to carry all of the mental load, as well as the physical load of actually doing the chores. The only thing we don’t carry is the resentment against partners not pulling their weight and, for that, I am grateful.”

Slawson, who runs The Single Supplement newsletter, also talks about the joys of being single – such as the spontaneous choices people can make to travel and pursue other goals. She is also inclusive, talking to those whose are plus-sized and disabled.

This is a great book that gives voice to single people and their unique issues it brings.